How'd it go today?

I’ve been thinking about Jed on and off throughout the day. It helped to be focused on work for a better part of the day. It’s strange, even though we never personally met, he was a friend.

We had some deep discussions through DM. He was an extremely intelligent man with a unique outlook. We share the same Christian faith and spoke of scripture together and how it relates to life and it’s challenges. He loved being an arborist, quitting his iron working job to climb trees later on in life.

I sent him some pictures of a couple of my first trees. He said “you’ll think this is going to sound strange, but I can tell by the way you’re poised on those spurs, you could do this for a living”. That meant a lot.

Jed was/is a mentor through YouTube and through this forum to a degree. We will “always” have the videos and posts he left us.

It’s impossible to imagine what his wife and daughters are currently experiencing.

Jed will be missed.
 
Yep, he was one of the good ones.

Mike, i'm not sure on the test yet. waiting for an answer to my letter and go from there. I was kinda like old Pres. Bush; "Let me make this perfectly clear." Used all the words allowed in the message box...I have lots of time on my hands.
 
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Started ROW clearing today. Not a bad bit of work just time consuming. New tracks and sprockets are working nice. Figured out that my right drive motor is getting weak. I was able to turn it by hand when I was doing the sprockets if that is an indicator. Calling tomorrow to check on availability.
Not in a mood for much tonight.
 
I also was thinking about Jed a lot today. I spent the bulk of my day outside, burning lots of blown out branches from the big winds a couple of weeks ago. Watching the smoke curl away into the sky. Don't know why, but it made me hope he was as peaceful as I felt at that time and place. I'll miss Jed, for true.
 
Dave, good on you for writing the letter. You and a few of us here are old enough to remember when our doctor knew us, took care of us and did everything possible to get to the root of the problem. Now a days, we have to be our own advocate. It really is sickening, literally. If he does not respond today, maybe he is not the doctor you need. I hope he does, but don’t be afraid to look for another.
 
You're sure not kidding about the "self-advocate" thing. I never went to the Dr. much unless I needed repaired and am learning this all from my sister & you all. I really detest having to badger folks to accomplish something, but it seems that that's the way things run now-a-days. At least I'm getting some practice with my social skills...I don't actually talk to many folks in recent years...aside from being a bit of a curmudgeon I'm sort of a hermit.

I'm already dealing with Drs that are at least two removed from "mine" because of vacations, maternity leaves, etc. So far it seems to be mostly a matter of finding the right person who will listen. Took me three days of transfers to wrong numbers etc. to get to a certain financial advocate, but once I did he was golden...took care of business, answered questions, & made lots headway filling out forms over phone & transferring documents..

All "my" Dr. right now are "out".

I did manage to squeak out an offer of moving an appointment up 5 days with my GP. Unfortunately I think that was the answer to my letter...go figure.
 
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The oncologist i had misdiagnosed my type of cancer, stage, results, and a ton of other stuff during my treatment because he completely sucks at his job. As a result he almost started me on a very very harsh chemo regimen that was to be injected into my spine, and then tried to send me to 2nd line treatment unnecessarily which up until a couple years ago used to kill over 30 percent of patients just from the procedure alone (and would have cost 1/4 mil). It's sad but true that no one cares if you live or die or suffer as much as you do, so you gotta be better at their job than they are. Without my incessant researching and my sister being both an er nurse and injured (so not working) i undoubtedly would already be dead. I'm sorry that it's like this, the us healthcare system is terrible.
 
Before my last scheduled blood work I told my primary I wanted to be tested for heavy metals. She looked at me like I was stupid which I am but that’s beside the point. She asked what for. I told her “heavy metals”. She asked why. Told her I’m pouring no less that 240 pounds of lead a month. She said I would have to be eating lead for it to have any effect on me. Told her she can take my money and amuse me or I’ll take my money elsewhere and be amused. She ordered the test and guess what, I’m above normal for lead but not abnormal. She was shocked, lmao. I’ll take the results to another Doctor for a second opinion. :X
 
I called my buddy who goes to a regular Dr office closer to here & not in the big city, but in the same system I'm hooked into.
Gave them a call to see if I can get in as a new patient just to have access to a regular same Dr.
None taking new patients right now but believe I'll keep bugging them periodically.
 
Self advocating is important even in the lands of subsidized medical care.
I often wonder how older people or those younger ones who aren't so cluey manage to navigate some of the clutter.
At least we don't have to worry too much about the bills, but I've lived through that too in another life.
 
Lol nah, you would have done the exact same, you'll be amazed at what you can learn if you're stuck in a hospital for weeks with a smartphone in your pocket. Cancer fortunately has spreadsheets of what is called the standard of care, and they have tons of info explaining everything in laymans terms. Then you can look up the studies that were done (often quoted in said literature), thankfully that info wasn't behind a paywall so we were able to look at the studies and get the actual info the doctors use. Then from there you can work up what questions to ask, and then what questions after that. As long as your shitty dr is doing what the standards recommend you're probably ok, simply because that's what the science has proven through clinical trials. All the literature is referenced so all you have to do is click on them to go deeper and deeper, and the next thing you know the drs will start asking who you're talking to, that's when you know you're pushing them to do better.

My mom was an icu nurse, i have several aunts that are also nurses (with friends that are drs), and my sister is an incredible er nurse that has been doing the traveling game for awhile now and has worked all over the country. Several members here also helped with their expertise and support (thanks again!) so needless to say i had plenty of help figuring out what the doctor couldn't. Also when i got barnes involved i had an actual dr who had helped develop the treatments, so that cut out the noise dramatically. Medicine is obviously a very complicated and personal thing, and the doctors are overworked in an assembly line of patients, so it's up to you to make sure stuffs right.

I had some great drs too, the ones that worked on my partial paralysis went over and above to figure out what would work with me, without them i would have been completely paralyzed on a breathing machine attempting chemo, aka dead. So there's good ones out there, and they network to help them solve stuff so you are often working with several drs but don't often know it. Just keep on them and make them do their job, be polite but ask pointed questions to get to what they aren't saying but are thinking. I got a lot of mileage over the simple "if it's not this, then what could it possibly be?" Or "this is what the standard of care is, why do we want to deviate from that?" By carefully wording stuff in certain ways you can push them to think about it differently, and will often get answers they don't want to give out yet because they're still working up to it. If you're thinking Lyme then make sure you say so, then if they won't test for it (without them explaining why it's not that) then go around them. Hang in there man, we're all in your corner.
 
I filmed some educational YouTube content all about the proper procedure for installing a friction saver from the ground using a throw weight and throw line. I picked this relatively tall pine even though it had super abrasive bark (my thin Dyneema throw line likes to slide under the many slit openings in the bark and get stuck with trees like this). Not only did my throw line somehow become a rat's nest in need of untangling, but when I went home to look at the footage and begin the editing, I realized that I somehow managed to turn the camera off during some important moments. Apparently, incorrectly believing I was being filmed, I spent approximately one half hour talking to myself like an asshat. Oops. That was a pretty frustrating discovery. Meh, oh well. I got to do some climbing at least.

Then I ordered Chinese food, did some high speed photography of birds maneuvering about, walked to the pharmacy, spoke to my girlfriend on the phone, and then I took some long exposure photos of the night sky which I'll layer with separate shots of natural features that were in the foreground for the sky shot, except now the focus will be on them and I usually illuminate them with a light, sometimes with colored light, which creates a cool result. Cacti, trees, boulders, palm trees, etc.

Finally, I did some seriously deep pondering about the direction of my life and about anything that I should be doing which I'm not currently doing. It was a helpful thought exercise, however, it left me with a fair amount of anxiety and stress. I guess that's how it goes sometimes when you try to be a present participant in your own life.

Sometimes I wish life had a "pause" switch.
 
Finally, I did some seriously deep pondering about the direction of my life and about anything that I should be doing which I'm not currently doing. It was a helpful thought exercise, however, it left me with a fair amount of anxiety and stress.

How old are you? Science/sociology tells us that older people are generally happier than young people in part because old people no longer have to figure as hard about the direction of their life since much of it has already happened and also probably b/c old people generally have developed more wisdom simply by virtue of being extant longer and they are less driven to worry. :rockhard:
 
@cory I'm currently 34 years old. So, you're spot on in your assessment. I wasted a lot of my life suffering through a gastroneurological disorder which saw me disabled at the age of 18. Simultaneously, I developed a myriad of mental illnesses and, as a coping mechanism, wasted a huge part of my life away addicted to drugs of all different kinds. Also, because I have been on Social Security, I've been limited to working part time. I also never went to college, so most of my job options are pretty horrible. About two years ago, a new medication put my disability into remission, and I no longer was having to be hospitalized once or twice a month for 5-7 days at a time. My life immediately improved and, soon thereafter, I got control over my drug abuse issues. Now I'm at a turning point in my life where I must decide which direction to go. Having so many options is overwhelming.

This might have been TMI, but that's alright. If people are going to judge me, they'll do it without my help regardless.

In other news, did you know that Russia's number one warship is within shooting distance of the US right now with Zircon missiles aboard? You do now. A bit unsettling if you ask this guy.
 
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That's wonderful the med and abuse problems have been getting solved!

I remember 34yrs old well. After several years of drug & alcohol abuse, jail stays, losing everything I had twice, etc., I had and extremely intense feeling of being behind in life compared to my expectations of where felt I should be. This brought about a lot of stress & anxiety, because of the overwhelming feeling that I needed to "catch up".

If I may share one suggestion, don't fall into that trap. It's cliche' but: do your best to take each day as it comes. tomorrow is not an emergency...it's not here yet.


As for the ship: I grew up having nuclear bomb shelter drills in school. Warships of many nations cruise the world over. I highly doubt there is a place in the world that is not within striking distance of something at any given time. Been that way for many, many years. It's one of those "tomorrow" things.
 
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We were called off due to weather today. Only reason I’m a little upset is with our odd pay period, I would’ve had a 65 hour paycheck this week. I don’t mind long hours this time of year. I almost have made enough in overtime in January so far to pay for my cabin and hotel stays for the two vacations we have scheduled without taking from my savings.
Anyhow. I watched the kids play in the snow for a few hours and now I’m heading out in the rain to split some firewood. It might seem odd to most that I want to do that but being at the wood pile, even though I joke it’s my pit of despair, is my form of church so to speak. Kinda need it right now
 
@cory I'm currently 34 years old. So, you're spot on in your assessment. I wasted a lot of my life suffering through a gastroneurological disorder which saw me disabled at the age of 18. Simultaneously, I developed a myriad of mental illnesses and, as a coping mechanism, wasted a huge part of my life away addicted to drugs of all different kinds. Also, because I have been on Social Security, I've been limited to working part time. I also never went to college, so most of my job options are pretty horrible. About two years ago, a new medication put my disability into remission, and I no longer was having to be hospitalized once or twice a month for 5-7 days at a time. My life immediately improved and, soon thereafter, I got control over my drug abuse issues. Now I'm at a turning point in my life where I must decide which direction to go. Having so many options is overwhelming.

This might have been TMI, but that's alright. If people are going to judge me, they'll do it without my help regardless.

In other news, did you know that Russia's number one warship is within shooting distance of the US right now with Zircon missiles aboard? You do now. A bit unsettling if you ask this guy.

Rule #1 Don’t sweat the little shit.
Rule #2 It’s all little shit.

Set little goals you know you can accomplish and work your way up to bigger goals. You’ll sort it out and find your groove. Try to learn from other people’s mistakes, the world is full of teachers lol. Not trying to tell you what to do, just do what I’m trying to tell ya. :D
 
Self advocating is important even in the lands of subsidized medical care.
I often wonder how older people or those younger ones who aren't so cluey manage to navigate some of the clutter.
At least we don't have to worry too much about the bills, but I've lived through that too in another life.
The biggest problem with not paying for your own medical care is that you lose any leverage with the doctor as to how you are treated. You have to take what they give you, period. At least I have a say in how I am treated since I am the one paying for it. No government official or insurance company pencil pusher can deny me a test or treatment because I don't fit into one of their checked boxes.
 
I don't dispute having greater control when holding a full wallet, but I don't think it's the pencil pushers at fault in my current situation. They've certainly blown through plenty on little evidence and with no success so far.

I believe this falls firmly in the Dr. laps (one in particular). I'd liked to have received his snarky little reply to my request in person.
 
I am fortunate to have a choice. I can use the public subsidized system, or elect to choose my Dr. and self fund my treatment. Medicare still pays for a chunk of it, yet cannot dictate my choices if I'm paying the gap.
 
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