Thought everyone would get a chuckle from this article in today's News Tribune. I especially liked the last sentence .
Continued outlook: Cold, frigid, icy, frozen
THE NEWS TRIBUNE Published: December 16th, 2008 12:05 AM
National Weather Service forecast for Western Washington: Bitter cold, followed by snow storms and frozen eyelashes, with numbing polar temperatures continuing until who knows when.
Highs between freezing and frigidity. Lows between unbearable and unbelievable. Wind chill factor between arctic and absolute zero.
Strong likelihood of violent shivers and chattering teeth in Puget Sound lowlands. Chapped lip advisory in effect.
Frozen nose and ear warning on slopes of Cascades. Sno-Cats or dog sleds advised on mountain passes.
Icebergs possible in Hood Canal, East Passage and Tacoma Narrows. Slight chance of polar bears in outlying areas.
Children sledding, mainly on hills. Inner tubes likely, with occasional toboggans. Snowmen and snow angels expected. Snowball hazard throughout Western Washington.
One hundred percent chance of icy windshields, frozen car doors, drivers late to work.
Black ice, white ice, frosted ice. Hazardous intersections. Slight chance of sanding by city crews. Chance of collisions with damnfool drivers who don’t slow down on icy roads. Cars spinning like tops. Occasional cars in ditches.
Parkas, gloves, mittens required; survival suits advised. Frozen fingers likely when putting chains on tires. Tropospheric air temperatures, mainly outdoors. Possibility of musk oxen fleeing south.
Continued outlook: really, really cold. This winter weather advisory in effect until hell freezes over.