CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
LMBO!
The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread
- Thread starter Thor's Hammer
- Start date
- Replies 12K
- Views 511K
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
BlackSmith
Uncivil
That's funny right there...
r0ck1r0ck2
TreeHouser
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Better than turds!
FireFighterZero
Captain Zero!
Awesome joke. Falling in a refrigerator is very scary.
Peter
Treehouser
Personal experience?
r0ck1r0ck2
TreeHouser
BlackSmith
Uncivil
Wife left... I think.
Came home from fishing today and the wife had left a note on the refrigerator:
"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my mother."
"I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold...
What the hell is she talking about?
Came home from fishing today and the wife had left a note on the refrigerator:
"IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my mother."
"I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold...
What the hell is she talking about?
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
bstewert
TreeHouser
That's a good one!
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
It surprised the heck outta me! I was like "No it doesn't.... wait... it does!"
Ha.
Ha.
Thor's Hammer
Wolfish. Sometimes Bites.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #2,263
My wife was dying and I was by her bedside.
She said in a tired voice "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said, there's nothing to confess...Everything's all right."
"No I must die in peace. I screwed your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!"
"I know," I whispered "That's why I poisoned you, you Bitch, now close your eyes''
She said in a tired voice "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said, there's nothing to confess...Everything's all right."
"No I must die in peace. I screwed your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!"
"I know," I whispered "That's why I poisoned you, you Bitch, now close your eyes''
vl2007
Treehouser
Can't stop laughing...
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
"A guy walks into a bar, sits down at a table, and tells the waitress, "I'll have a Bloody Mary and a menu." When she returns with his drink, he asks "Still servin' breakfast?" She says yes and he replies, "Then I'll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon - one end well done and the other end raw, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee." Indignantly the waitress replies, "We don't serve that kinda stuff in here!" The guy says, "Funny... that's what I had in here yesterday!"
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Long Joke, But Worth It!
A man is waiting outside a really swanky bar on New Years Eve. The bar is having a new Year's Eve party where you pay $90 for entry, but you get unlimited free drinks for the rest of the night. While he is waiting in the ridiculous line outside, where there are at least 300 people, he meets this woman with a horse head mask. He asks her, "why do you have that horse head on?" She says, "because I like tiny carrots." Taking this as sexual innuendo, he continues to talk to this woman. As they are talking, he becomes convinced that this is the love of his life. After 3 hours of waiting in line and talking, he thinks that he really knows this woman to the very core of her soul. Then finally, they reach the front of the line and get into the bar. The man realizes that he desperately has to pee, but he doesn't want to lose track of this girl. He exchanges numbers with her and they promise to meet up again in the downstairs portion of the party -- near where the balloon drop will occur. The man goes off to the bathroom, but there is another enormous line. The man barely thinks he can hold it. He waits and waits and waits, and finally he decides to just skip the line, shoves aside a man that was about to wash his hands, and pees in the sink. After leaving the bathroom, the man searches frantically for the girl in the horse head. Sadly, he sees the horse head lying on the floor of the bar. He doesn't know what this girl looks like! Slightly depressed, he heads over to the big jug of spiked punch at a nearby table, and luckily, there is no punch line!
A man is waiting outside a really swanky bar on New Years Eve. The bar is having a new Year's Eve party where you pay $90 for entry, but you get unlimited free drinks for the rest of the night. While he is waiting in the ridiculous line outside, where there are at least 300 people, he meets this woman with a horse head mask. He asks her, "why do you have that horse head on?" She says, "because I like tiny carrots." Taking this as sexual innuendo, he continues to talk to this woman. As they are talking, he becomes convinced that this is the love of his life. After 3 hours of waiting in line and talking, he thinks that he really knows this woman to the very core of her soul. Then finally, they reach the front of the line and get into the bar. The man realizes that he desperately has to pee, but he doesn't want to lose track of this girl. He exchanges numbers with her and they promise to meet up again in the downstairs portion of the party -- near where the balloon drop will occur. The man goes off to the bathroom, but there is another enormous line. The man barely thinks he can hold it. He waits and waits and waits, and finally he decides to just skip the line, shoves aside a man that was about to wash his hands, and pees in the sink. After leaving the bathroom, the man searches frantically for the girl in the horse head. Sadly, he sees the horse head lying on the floor of the bar. He doesn't know what this girl looks like! Slightly depressed, he heads over to the big jug of spiked punch at a nearby table, and luckily, there is no punch line!
FireFighterZero
Captain Zero!
asshole! Those were a couple of good ones Butch.
FireFighterZero
Captain Zero!
Gold, absolute gold!
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/mHyRCeKxhss" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
A homeless guy walks into a bar. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, "What can I do for you?"
The homeless guy asks for a toothpick, so the bartender gives him one to make him go away. The homeless guy takes the toothpick and stumbles back outside.
Shortly after the first guy leaves, another homeless guy shows up and asks for a toothpick. The bartender hands him a toothpick. The bartender is curious now, but before he can ask any questions, the second homeless guy is out the door.
Ten minutes later, another dirty homeless guy shows up and asks for a straw. The bartender says, "A straw? The other guys wanted toothpicks. Why do you want a straw?"
The dirty homeless guy says, "A drunk chick threw up outside, and all the good stuff is gone."
The homeless guy asks for a toothpick, so the bartender gives him one to make him go away. The homeless guy takes the toothpick and stumbles back outside.
Shortly after the first guy leaves, another homeless guy shows up and asks for a toothpick. The bartender hands him a toothpick. The bartender is curious now, but before he can ask any questions, the second homeless guy is out the door.
Ten minutes later, another dirty homeless guy shows up and asks for a straw. The bartender says, "A straw? The other guys wanted toothpicks. Why do you want a straw?"
The dirty homeless guy says, "A drunk chick threw up outside, and all the good stuff is gone."
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