The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread
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MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
An Email I Received...
Attn: My Dear,
I am Mrs Alice Bryan, I am a USA citizen 48 years Old. I am from New York, i am thinking of relocating since I am now rich, I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in Nigeria many years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over $50,000 while in the United State trying to get my payment all to no avail.
So I decided to travel to WASHINGTON D.C with all my compensation documents, And I was directed by the ( F B I) Director to contact Agent Mr.Robert Phillip who his a representative of the ( FB I ) and a member of the COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE in Europe and I contacted him, he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.
He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment. Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my compensation funds of $15,Million Us Dollars, Moreover, Mr Robert Phillip showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payment and I saw your email address as one of the beneficiaries,that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you i will advise you to contact Mr Robert Phillip.You have to contact him directly on this information below.
COMPENSATION AWARD HOUSE
Name: Mr Robert Phillip
Email: kash@inbox.com.de
You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your funds is with them, it is not in anyway with them they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.The only money I paid after I met Mr Robert Phillip was just $400 for the paper works take note of that.
Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact Mr Robert Phillip so that he can help you to Deliver your fund instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different kind of money to complete your transaction.
Regards,
Mrs.Alice Bryan
Kiss my ass, Alice!
Attn: My Dear,
I am Mrs Alice Bryan, I am a USA citizen 48 years Old. I am from New York, i am thinking of relocating since I am now rich, I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in Nigeria many years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over $50,000 while in the United State trying to get my payment all to no avail.
So I decided to travel to WASHINGTON D.C with all my compensation documents, And I was directed by the ( F B I) Director to contact Agent Mr.Robert Phillip who his a representative of the ( FB I ) and a member of the COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE in Europe and I contacted him, he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.
He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment. Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my compensation funds of $15,Million Us Dollars, Moreover, Mr Robert Phillip showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payment and I saw your email address as one of the beneficiaries,that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you i will advise you to contact Mr Robert Phillip.You have to contact him directly on this information below.
COMPENSATION AWARD HOUSE
Name: Mr Robert Phillip
Email: kash@inbox.com.de
You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your funds is with them, it is not in anyway with them they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.The only money I paid after I met Mr Robert Phillip was just $400 for the paper works take note of that.
Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact Mr Robert Phillip so that he can help you to Deliver your fund instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different kind of money to complete your transaction.
Regards,
Mrs.Alice Bryan
Kiss my ass, Alice!
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Seeing this majestic Orca caught in a net made me weep!
Steve Mack
Life Member.
I don't think you've seen this one.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
HAHAHAHA
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
SouthSoundTree
Treehouser
LOL
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
r0ck1r0ck2
TreeHouser
if bernard black quotes were motivational posters
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Derp?
rfwoodvt
TreeHouser
This is how you sell a truck: http://burlington.craigslist.org/cto/4640943456.html
1967 Ford F350. You want this truck. You need this truck. - $2500
1967 Ford F350 odometer: 64490 paint color : yellow size : full-size type : truck drive : rwd fuel : gas transmission : manual title status : clean cylinders : 8 cylinders
I know you want it. But I don't think you can handle this much cool. You don't have nearly enough mustache to take on a truck this awesome.
It's a 1967 Ford F350. 352 cu. inch V-8. NP-435 4-speed. Dana rear end. 9 foot stepside bed. Manual steering (Ford didn't put power steering in their 1-tons until 1973, which was the same year the entire corporation was neutered).
The Good: You have to be told what's good about this truck? Really? If that's the case, you should stop reading now and go back to your Twilight fan blog. There is too much 'Merica in this truck for you.
The Bad: Well, if you don't know how to drive an older 4 speed manual transmission, then this truck will probably annoy you. But, then again, if that's the case, then you already annoy me and you should really check into testosterone replacement therapy.
The Ugly: Not gonna lie to you, there is some rust. But let's be honest, it was built in 1967, and if you were the type of person who could handle this truck, your facial hair would frighten the rust away.
There is no radio in the truck right now. It gets a little loud when you're driving it around the city and all you can hear is the sound of panties hitting concrete.
Give me a call, come take a look at it. I am asking $2500. If you were to wave cash under my nose, I might be inclined to budge a little. Don't bother asking what my bottom price is. If you're that cheap, you don't deserve this truck.
Don't bother with trades. Unless you have a 1959 Massey Ferguson 85. Hint, hint.
1967 Ford F350 odometer: 64490 paint color : yellow size : full-size type : truck drive : rwd fuel : gas transmission : manual title status : clean cylinders : 8 cylinders
I know you want it. But I don't think you can handle this much cool. You don't have nearly enough mustache to take on a truck this awesome.
It's a 1967 Ford F350. 352 cu. inch V-8. NP-435 4-speed. Dana rear end. 9 foot stepside bed. Manual steering (Ford didn't put power steering in their 1-tons until 1973, which was the same year the entire corporation was neutered).
The Good: You have to be told what's good about this truck? Really? If that's the case, you should stop reading now and go back to your Twilight fan blog. There is too much 'Merica in this truck for you.
The Bad: Well, if you don't know how to drive an older 4 speed manual transmission, then this truck will probably annoy you. But, then again, if that's the case, then you already annoy me and you should really check into testosterone replacement therapy.
The Ugly: Not gonna lie to you, there is some rust. But let's be honest, it was built in 1967, and if you were the type of person who could handle this truck, your facial hair would frighten the rust away.
There is no radio in the truck right now. It gets a little loud when you're driving it around the city and all you can hear is the sound of panties hitting concrete.
Give me a call, come take a look at it. I am asking $2500. If you were to wave cash under my nose, I might be inclined to budge a little. Don't bother asking what my bottom price is. If you're that cheap, you don't deserve this truck.
Don't bother with trades. Unless you have a 1959 Massey Ferguson 85. Hint, hint.
Dave Shepard
Square peg, round world.
That's way better than the crap you usually read on craigslist. Some of the people posting ads on there are so friggin' lazy I wouldn't call them if they were to deliver their wares for free. I don't do craigslist.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
Awesome
gf beranek
Old Schooler
He's original. That's for sure.
bstewert
TreeHouser
Raj
TreeHouser
I wish that was across the board on everything up here....sadly....it's not
bstewert
TreeHouser
You have frivolous lawsuits, too?
Raj
TreeHouser
I would say it's just like the states. We have killers who sue victims families. One case a drunk woman ran over and killed two kids and is suing the deceased families because she has been traumatized by the accident!! And forget family court, that's the worst!
Raj
TreeHouser
Here is what you find on a package of peanuts, pulled out of my girlfriends cupboards.
gf beranek
Old Schooler
May contain peanuts?
bstewert
TreeHouser
Jeez! That's a good one.
Steve Mack
Life Member.
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo
He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies.
One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic.
Captain Bravo bellowed, ”Bring me my red shirt!” The first mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock Bravo led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on that day, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, they was victorious over the two ships.
That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day’s triumphs and one of them asked the captain, ”Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle?” The captain replied, ”If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.”
All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the horizon. The first mate asked, “Shall I bring your red shirt?”
“No. ” Captain Bravo calmly replied, ”Get me my brown pants!”
He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies.
One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic.
Captain Bravo bellowed, ”Bring me my red shirt!” The first mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock Bravo led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on that day, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, they was victorious over the two ships.
That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day’s triumphs and one of them asked the captain, ”Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle?” The captain replied, ”If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.”
All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the horizon. The first mate asked, “Shall I bring your red shirt?”
“No. ” Captain Bravo calmly replied, ”Get me my brown pants!”
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