The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

:)
 

Attachments

  • 10171298_785461444808202_975177747_n.png
    10171298_785461444808202_975177747_n.png
    389.8 KB · Views: 94
  • 1661031_785028991518114_1664198750_n.jpg
    1661031_785028991518114_1664198750_n.jpg
    51.9 KB · Views: 93
  • 10151174_785470031474010_1711578075_n.jpg
    10151174_785470031474010_1711578075_n.jpg
    45.8 KB · Views: 92
  • life-is-like-a-box-of-chocolates-it-doesnt-last-long-for-fat-people.jpg
    life-is-like-a-box-of-chocolates-it-doesnt-last-long-for-fat-people.jpg
    59.4 KB · Views: 92
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
 
Fred & ol' Butch

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pullet Surprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
 
Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl Sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated of all things, a condom!
When she returned With tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this? Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said To place it on the organ, Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.
 
Back
Top