Not good...

The friends that sheltered with my mom and dad that were evacuated. They went back home and the husband died of a heart attack while moving to a new place. Sadness. My folks were lucky they got to spend some time together. But Jeebus. Counting bessings for you B.
 
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  • #202
Oh, hell. Makes me weep to think on that scene, Stephen. Just weep.

I'm usually not much for weeping...but I can easily put myself and M in that situation, losing a dear friend after they gave us their all...sad.
 
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You've been in a fight or flight mode for a while. Kind of a steady adrenaline drip. Weird things will happen when your brain finally has time to lay away and start to think. Time will make things better. My Dad was badly hurt a year and a half ago. Lay in icu for 6 weeks almost dead. He still has adverse affects from it even though he's a lot better and back to work. It's strange how your mind can get you through hard times but then things seem to catch up to it once everything calms down. You and Mrs. B might need a few days vacation after everything blows over.
 
Jonny said:
Agreed, it often just gets gentler and becomes rarer. Talk to your doc if it really starts affecting your life though. You’re not gonna get sentenced to a lifetime of psych drugs or anything like that, it just might take a little time.
So many mood problems can see great benefits from decent sleep, and if you’re losing sleep or sleeping poorly it can really wreak havoc on your day to day mood and concentration and happiness.
Click to expand...

Yep
 
Benjo75 said:
You've been in a fight or flight mode for a while. Kind of a steady adrenaline drip. Weird things will happen when your brain finally has time to lay away and start to think. Time will make things better. My Dad was badly hurt a year and a half ago. Lay in icu for 6 weeks almost dead. He still has adverse affects from it even though he's a lot better and back to work. It's strange how your mind can get you through hard times but then things seem to catch up to it once everything calms down. You and Mrs. B might need a few days vacation after everything blows over.
Click to expand...

Dang!

Sorry about that!
 
Seems like you have plenty of reason, Burnham.

What are you noticing differently or the same in daytime wakeful hours?
Calm, hyperalert, nervous, patient?
 
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  • #211
Daytimes I don't have any problems or out of the norm behaviors. It's only the fire dreams, and those are not every night. Last night was fire free :). I slept pretty well, though it took longer than has been usual over most of my life for me to get to sleep. That last bit is a fairly common denominator these last several weeks.
 
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Try taking a dose of magnesium before bed...it activates your go to sleep cycle...I find it helps after a hard day, not only for muscle repair but to help relax before sleep.
No doubt about it, you were in a high stress situation for a sustained period of time, now you can relax a bit that stuff can pop up that you had to put aside during the acute phase.
Normal but unsettling if you've never experienced it before. I agree with the others, give it some time, and if it lingers go check in with someone.
 
I take that sometimes too, and if I’m really wanting to get dopey, a little diphenhydramine aka Benadryl aka Z-Quil. It’s actually pretty mild and I usually feel well rested the next morning.

After Iraq, the flashbacks and nightmares were getting bad and decent sleep was rare. Doc put me on Ambien. Woke up with a plate in bed with me, cheeseburger and tater-tots. Zero memory of cooking it, but I was living alone, I’m the only one who could’ve cooked it. Scared the shit out of me, was scared I might drive somewhere and get someone killed or hurt while I was asleep.
Maybe it’s safe for other people but not for me.
 
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  • #216
I appreciate all the advice on sleepy time aids...but that's not my cup of tea. Sleep is a normal human activity...I'll just go with that as my approach.

Lot's of things can interrupt a good night's sleep. I think I'm better off dealing with those than taking something to overcome those things' influence.

Never forget...I loves me a glass of scotch before dinner. Additive enough, that :D.
 
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I'll report now that ever since I opened up and spoke of these bad dreams re fires, I have not had a single one. Maybe just manning up and putting it out there, and hearing y'alls supportive messages, has chased the demon off. Time will tell, sure enough. I'd be foolish to think there will never be a recurrence. But today I'm feeling way better that before on this front.
 
Burnham,
When one is facing extreme existential stresses (such as you've been through, along with having neighbors who did lose everything) it seems there is a high likelihood of a form of PTSD called Vicarious Traumatization. Even if the loss isn't yours, you are so easily able to insert yourself into the scenario which has devastated your neighbors, such that it becomes 'hyper-real' in your subconscious. When you sleep your rational defenses against facing that inconceivable threat of loss is lowered and those fears erupt in dream form.

Glad you are okay and dreaming less vividly. I bet you two are missing your rambling hikes; maybe time to plan a vacation hike or two?
 
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  • #223
Just a quick note of update re my "condition" :).

First though, to you Pat, my thanks for your astute and clear-eyed description of my general situation. It was a great help to read it as I was trying to find my way through to a more comfortable mental place.

I have had only a couple of more bad dream nights, and they have been for the most part less intense, of shorter duration, and easier to not fall back into.

I'm clearly getting past the trauma, imo. I won't say it's all gone just yet, but pretty much so. It's been almost a week since the last episode, and that one was...well, not exactly benign I guess, but it was some ways from "wake up in a wild-eyed sweat hyperventilating" bad either.

Stupid brain should know better than to do this to itself :D.

But I'm on the mend.
 
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