The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

Years ago I rented a house with a couple other guys.

One of them had a girlfriend who would come ot visit with her brother form time to time. These people were probably the least intelligent folks I've ever run into. He lived to watch Big time Wrestling and had a severe stuttering problem. Listening to her was like listening to Gracie Allen.

She called one day and I happened to answer the phone.

Her: "Could you tell Mike we will be about three hours late? My brother is driving and there are a lot of hills on the way."

Me: "So you'll be 3 hours late on a 50 mile drive because there are hills?"

Her: "The car is a stick shift and he has to shift it going up the hills"

I just set the phone down and let her talk to the air. I was laughing too hard...all I could picture was him driving going se-se-se-se-second!

Not my most understanding moment...but I had very little patience for those two.
 
NeTree said:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of d iamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Click to expand...

hahah
 
Classic joke! I love it.

Comes back to - do you want to get some happy time or do you want to be smarter?
 
I didn't know where to post this on this site.....but this is as good a place as any, I guess.

10255636_10202063643769405_6556447430447787133_n.jpg

If anyone out there has a rope they can part company with, I think this fella could use it.

Joel
 
I saw one like that in Bottineau, next to the NDFS headquarters. Have an old video tape of it somewhere. The were pulling the top over with a payloader, usin 3 chains with aT least 4 splices In them.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Mesquite
Help with micro pulley selection
Replies
6
Views
1K
Knotorious
Knotorious
Knotorious
I (Think/Hope) I Developed A New Hitch Design
31 32 33
Replies
800
Views
33K
Knotorious
Knotorious
Knotorious
Battling With My New Rope Runner Pro and Its Feisty Bollard Adjustment Settings
Replies
20
Views
2K
Knotorious
Knotorious
cerberus
For powerheads < 30-40CC, is lithium a viable replacement? How about just for 25cc?
Replies
2
Views
1K
SeanKroll
SeanKroll
Magnus
Vertical filing.
Replies
6
Views
1K
Magnus
Magnus
Back
Top