Funny stories about tree work

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PCTREE

PCTREE

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OK so I thought this was what Darkstars thread was about but guess not....So why dont yaal post those silly/funny stories about tree work. Ill start.....

So a guy I worked for years ago got outa the army from Nam and started doing firewood. He got a job to take down a tall oak next to a house which he could just drop. He set his notch and cut his back cut as far as he dared and couldnt push it over. Didnt have a rope or a wedge. So he ran to his truck drove to Lowes and bought a wedge. He said the worst part of the experiance was waiting in the line to pay:lol: When he got back he drove the wedge in and the tree went over with no more cutting:O
 
Dumb bunny. If he had cut a face he had the material to MAKE his wedge right there on site.
 
I did a job on Saturday, a referral from a friend who sells work for a big crane company.

The homeowner had several big trees removed, he wanted the wood left in 36" pieces....because thats how big his fireplace is:|: The crew told him he'd never be able to split it, but that didn't seem to deter him any....

when I showed up he had a stand made up out of 2x4's to hold the logs while I cut, I think it broke his heart when I called his stand 'kindling'

anyway the house is a multimillion dollar mansion, and the dude is a famous doctor, I guess I'm the moron in this story:)
 
My former boss, Fred, told me a story about his brother, Jay. They used to do treework together and there was no love lost between them. One morning Fred was at a busy gas station filling up the truck. Jay was there standing around as things were being fueled. Another patron had just finished putting $10 in his car, and thinking he was a worker at the gas station, handed Jay a twenty dollar bill and said "ten dollars." Without missing a beat, Jay took the 20 and reached into his own pocket and pulled out a ten and gave it to the guy. The guy got in his car and drove off, and Jay said with a smug grin, "easiest ten bucks I ever made."

Fred says, "that's how the criminal mind works."
 
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Same dude as before gets a job to cut a big low limb off of an oak tree. he set a 30' ladder way out on the limb to cut the end off, he went up ladder which was 2' higher than the limb. You guessed it he cuts the end off and relieves the weight and the limb raises up, ladder drops away leaves him with one arm around limb other holding an 038 which he had to pitch:lol:
 
I just remembered another "Jay story." We used to say there was a new one made everyday.

Well, you know how when you're driving along and you see somebody throw garbage out of their car window it makes you want to kill them??

One day, Jay was out on his motorcycle. While he was stopped waiting for a red light, the guy in front of him threw a bag of fast food garbage out his window. The light changed and the guy drove off. Jay picked up the garbage and followed him. The guy drove home and Jay pulled into his driveway behind him, went up to his window and yelled at him," here's the garbage you threw in the road, *&^$%&*. He threw the garb at the guy and punched him in the face thru the open window, then he hopped on his bike and drove off.

Oops, just realized this isn't a treework story, but it's about a treeman, so hope that's enough to qualify.;)
 
I saw a lady toss something out of her car right in downtown Chapel Hill. I wound up passing her on the left and I spontaneously tossed the contents of a gatorade bottle on her windshield... I think it was orange.

I went on to an appointment and about 20 minutes later a cop was knocking on the door looking for me. That bitch ran down a cop and had him come after me.

I told him what happened, we had a laugh and he left.
 
When I was a boy in northern Indiana my father had a tree biz. One evening he dropped over the hill coming home, turned on his left turn indicator and prepared to enter our driveway. Suddenly he heard a squall of brakes and frantic honking behind him so he stopped and walked back to the car that had screeched to a halt. The Driver began screaming and cursing about Dad failing to signal. Dad apologized but told the man and his wife that he had indeed signaled and that the indicator was working in the cab. You know how some people take any apology as a sign of weakness and an opportunity to become more abusive? This guy was behaving that way-he started calling my dad a bleeping liar and talking about how he out to get out and kick his "expletive deleted". Have you noticed that some people will bend over backward to be polite but that if their magnanimity is unappreciated they lose patience very quickly? My father is like that. While the guy was screaming threats he reached through the open window, grabbed the guy by the hair and punched him in the face 3 or 4 times. Then we got back in his truck and drove around behind the house to the woodyard. While the guy was still sitting in his car bleeding and is wife was screaming a State Trooper came over the hill and stopped to investigate the car parked in the middle of the road. He wound up back in the woodyard where dad, still smokin' hot, was THROWING 24 inch rounds of oak out of the truck. The Trooper asked what had happened. Dad told him. The trooper asked politely if he could check that turn signal. Dad said yes. He turned it on walked back to see if it was working at the rear (it wasn't) and said "You're right, it is working in the cab but not back here. You might want to get that fixed. Have a nice day."
 
a guy i know (he was in high school at the time) was asked by an old man to top his cedar tree next to his mobile home. he said sure, just tell me how to do it. the old guy set him up with hooks, a belt and a saw and talked him through the whole process. top set back and broke off and the butt went through the trailer. he said it went right to the floor between the tv and chair!

another guy i know in redding, california pulled up to a stoplight. a kid in the next car hocked a luigy on his hood. this guy is as nice as they come but he snapped. jumped out of the truck, punched the kid in the face, pulled the keys out of the ignition and threw them across the street!
 
What was funny to me was having to talk the kid we'd hired on the highlead show down about the 15' he'd made it up the tree before freezing in place. I laughed my ass off over it as I'd grown really tired of him telling me how easy the climbing looked and how he was going to have no problems with it at all. I was the one who made him go up, told him to shut up or get up the tree. Never heard another peep out of him about climbing after that.
 
Butch, We are pursueing more 'funny in the odd sense' stories. There don't seem to be many humorous ones.
 
I am going over stuff in my head and don't have any funny shat...
Most things that happen ain't funny in my book.

Now that old post of a news story about the tree guy in skivvys cause he lost his harness and was just standing on his spikes on a tree waiting for rescue.. THAT WAS FUNNY!
 
This one time I was working with a guy and we were picking up big rounds together. We were facing each other and I squatted down keeping my back straight and only bending my legs... Jeff the guy across from me was bent over too, right when we went to pick up the log my pants ripped open right down the center with his face about two feet away from my crotch. I don't own underwear! I about fell over I was laughing so hard.
 
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