Funny stories about tree work

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top_notch said:
This one time I was working with a guy and we were picking up big rounds together. We were facing each other and I squatted down keeping my back straight and only bending my legs... Jeff the guy across from me was bent over too, right when we went to pick up the log my pants ripped open right down the center with his face about two feet away from my crotch. I don't own underwear! I about fell over I was laughing so hard.
Click to expand...

Scarred him for life didya?
 
I was cutting the limbs of a pine tree that I knocked down at a shrine. The crown landed just short of what I thought was a portable outhouse. I didn't notice that the outhouse wasn't portable, but had a small septic tank adjoining in the ground, with the LID AJAR. I stepped through it, and the rest is history :|:

There were some local dudes watching the work, and I doubt that they ever heard swearing in English. I shot them a you laugh your dead look, and they mostly muffled the guffaws. It pissed me off that they didn't look to check the tank at their friggen shrine. Wearing chaps offered a little protection :|:

It was really funny :X
 
haha..close, that will get you the relief your looking for, but it's really, O benjo wa arimasen?

"Benjo" is mostly getting replaced by the word, "toile", these days. It sounds a bit nicer.
 
How to get yourself some grub, and asking where you can relieve yourself, that pretty much covers all you really need to know.
 
Years back, I worked with a guy whose greatest ambition was to become a treefaller. Unfortunately he didn't really have what it takes, being afflicted with the disorder known as DAMP or ADHD ( hope that is what it is called in english).
He quit the business, but apparently didn't loose the lust for falling trees, because I heard from a woman who worked at an institution for retarded kids( probably not the politically correct word, what should I use) that he had cut down a large dead elm outside the institution.
They had lined all the kids up to watch the show. The poor guy lost the tree sideways, hit a garage and flattened the head nurses new car.
And all the kids were clapping their hands and cheering:D
 
I thought of one!

Once, I woke a groundie up with a chainsaw. We were picking him up and his wife said he was still sleeping so I went into the bedroom with a primed poulan and he jumped straight into the air. We LOL'ed!
 
I like the scare the rookie maneuver. Take the chain off the saw and then from behind stick the bar right up through their legs and rev the piss out of it. That one never grows old.:lol:
 
squisher said:
I like the scare the rookie maneuver. Take the chain off the saw and then from behind stick the bar right up through their legs and rev the piss out of it. That one never grows old.:lol:
Click to expand...

Why take the chain off? :/:
 
Bombing large chunks of London Plane onto inch thick steel plates on an uneven road surface in central London was fun.Seeing people nearly fall over with fright quite amusing
 
Like MB says, maybe this isn't exactly Funny, but it probably fits in this thread.

I once dropped a huge tulip right onto a nice big colonial house that was to be demoed, and the owner showed up and freaked out cuz she said the demolition wasn't definite....
 
That's my big fear lately is that I'll take out the wrong tree. I had people moving marker tapes in a neighborhood where I was clearing the road for fire trucks.

First the Fire Captain comes through with the HOA president and marks the trees with orange tape, somebody moved at least one of them from a black gum to a white oak in the neighbors yard... then another tree company comes in and marks the trees again, this time with pink tape... but he didn't mark all the same ones so a couple had orange , a couple more had only pink and most had both. By the way, the HOA wouldn't allow tree paint, even on condemned trees.

Then I go through with the HOA President and he has a chart showing exactly which trees so I mark those trees with green tape. I got the job so I went back and took down all the orange and pink tape... and I noticed the black gum wasn't marked anymore and a nearby tree, well inside one of the yards, had green tape... this is where it got foggy for me.

The story gets long but I ended up marking the black gum FOUR times before the controversy was settled. I was worried as hell when i put that tree down, just waiting for somebody to sue my ass for killing the wrong tree.

Just weird.
 
Happens to me all the time Chip. I mark trees with the DBH in orange paint instead of an X to avoid confusion between me and the contractors over bid prices.

Often times I will find 30+'' dbh trees with 11's painted on them.:lol:
 
I dumped my pants during an estimate last summer. I got VERY sick to my stomach while walking through the property with the homeowner. She had this little white dog on a leash as we walked her yard. The dog got startled over something and darted between my legs and the leash went around my ankle. I lost control and just started dumping my brains out right there. I got myself together enough to scribble a number down on the invoice and ran to my truck.

She knew I crapped myself silly because it was load as heck and the back of my pants were soaked as I sprinted across the yard away from her.

I got the work.
 
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