Funny stories about tree work
- Thread starter PCTREE
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Dave Shepard
Square peg, round world.
Blinky, how many trees were in that job? Too many to shoot them all with a digital camera? I've used my digicam a number of time to have a solid record of the facts. You could even take a picture of the guy pointing at the tree to be condemned.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
Ewwwwwwwwwweeeeeee 
Nutball
TreeHouser
bump
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
Once I was cutting a limb early in my career. As I was slicing through with my 200t holding the safe part of the limb with my other hand (i know, one handing bad), a mouse ran out of the hollow part of the limb and across my hand hold on the limb. I about pissed myself thinking the saw got me.
Mick!
TreeHouser
pantheraba
More biners!!!
Awesome story... Hilarious. A similar thing happened with my across the street neighbor shortly after he returned from Vietnam as a special forces alpha team member. I'll try to track down that story where I've written it up before.
A couple years ago I was working on a property with the boss, and a guy comes out screaming at my boss that we were on his property. He thought he owned more than he did. My boss is little. He changed his tune when I got involved, and didn't back down. He was still pissed, but lost the idea of pushing us around :^D
pantheraba
More biners!!!
Here you go...couldn't find the story so I just re-remembered it.
My neighbor, Chuck, was a Special Forces Green Beret. He served on an alpha team in Vietnam and was very interesting fellow. As background I had once borrowed a machine gun from a lawyer in Tennessee who should have known better than to lend it out to me to be honest with you, but who can pass up a machine gun? I had been shooting it in the field behind my dad's house (this was approx. 1977) and after we emptied out a few mags of rounds I saw Chuck making his way down to us. He had a huge grin on his face.
He said, "I thought that was an M-2...I carried one of those as backup in Nam." The M-2 is the automatic version of the M1 Carbine, .30 calibre...distinctive sound and cyclic rate...LOTS of fun to shoot. Chuck said he had one "cut down" small that he carried across his back as a backup weapon. They preferred to use the AK47 mainly because if the enemy heard an American weapon firing (he was working in enemy territory) they would zero in on the American weapon user...so they used AK's a lot.
Anyway, Chuck homed in on me using the M2 and I got some good stories out of him. He also helped me tear it down as it started getting dark so I could clean it and return it to the owner. We had it in about 1,000 pieces on the picnick table and he stopped, scratched his head and said, "Damn...it's been a while since I had to put one of these back together..." I almost shat the proverbial gold brick. The guy I borrowed it from was not only a lawyer but one of the most highly skilled martial artists I have known...could break coconuts or coke bottles with a hand or elbow, could put his big toe thru a metal gas can...the real deal (real nuts, too..that's other stories). Chuck finally laughed at my expression and had pity on me...he slapped it back together and became my hero. That's background to the next story.
Chuck lived across the street from us and had not been back long from Vietnam and had a newborn son, Matt. Matt had some health issues and had just gotten to sleep when a local teenager and a friend in their new 442 Oldsmobile Cutlass decided to lay drag at the hill in front of Chuck's house. The first time he did it, Chuck just ran outside and nicely asked him to please stop, that his son was sick and just fell asleep.
Chuck is not real imposing to look at. A good Pollock, he is kind of short, squat like a fireplug and comes across as real nice at first. Those boys came back and decided to start laying drag again and just as they made it to the top of the hill, Chuck put a round through the engine with his .44 magnum rifle. The car grinds to a stop and Chuck marched them over to the side of the road which was at his front yard and held them at gunpoint until the sheriff got there.
Sheriff Earl Lee was quite famous for being a rough-and-tumble no-nonsense sheriff here in Douglas County Georgia. When he got there and got the full story, Earl asked Chuck what he wanted to charge him with...Chuck said anything I damn well can. So the sheriff said, "boys we got you for disturbing the peace, reckless driving and trespassing".
One of the boys looked up from his on his stomach prone position at the sheriff and said, "that's crazy, we weren't trespassing, we were just driving". At which point Earl Lee said, "boy, you're trespassing now".
I figured he would get sued by the boy's family...nope. The father called Chuck and thanked him for how he did it...he hoped it might straighten his kid out. The old days.
My neighbor, Chuck, was a Special Forces Green Beret. He served on an alpha team in Vietnam and was very interesting fellow. As background I had once borrowed a machine gun from a lawyer in Tennessee who should have known better than to lend it out to me to be honest with you, but who can pass up a machine gun? I had been shooting it in the field behind my dad's house (this was approx. 1977) and after we emptied out a few mags of rounds I saw Chuck making his way down to us. He had a huge grin on his face.
He said, "I thought that was an M-2...I carried one of those as backup in Nam." The M-2 is the automatic version of the M1 Carbine, .30 calibre...distinctive sound and cyclic rate...LOTS of fun to shoot. Chuck said he had one "cut down" small that he carried across his back as a backup weapon. They preferred to use the AK47 mainly because if the enemy heard an American weapon firing (he was working in enemy territory) they would zero in on the American weapon user...so they used AK's a lot.
Anyway, Chuck homed in on me using the M2 and I got some good stories out of him. He also helped me tear it down as it started getting dark so I could clean it and return it to the owner. We had it in about 1,000 pieces on the picnick table and he stopped, scratched his head and said, "Damn...it's been a while since I had to put one of these back together..." I almost shat the proverbial gold brick. The guy I borrowed it from was not only a lawyer but one of the most highly skilled martial artists I have known...could break coconuts or coke bottles with a hand or elbow, could put his big toe thru a metal gas can...the real deal (real nuts, too..that's other stories). Chuck finally laughed at my expression and had pity on me...he slapped it back together and became my hero. That's background to the next story.
Chuck lived across the street from us and had not been back long from Vietnam and had a newborn son, Matt. Matt had some health issues and had just gotten to sleep when a local teenager and a friend in their new 442 Oldsmobile Cutlass decided to lay drag at the hill in front of Chuck's house. The first time he did it, Chuck just ran outside and nicely asked him to please stop, that his son was sick and just fell asleep.
Chuck is not real imposing to look at. A good Pollock, he is kind of short, squat like a fireplug and comes across as real nice at first. Those boys came back and decided to start laying drag again and just as they made it to the top of the hill, Chuck put a round through the engine with his .44 magnum rifle. The car grinds to a stop and Chuck marched them over to the side of the road which was at his front yard and held them at gunpoint until the sheriff got there.
Sheriff Earl Lee was quite famous for being a rough-and-tumble no-nonsense sheriff here in Douglas County Georgia. When he got there and got the full story, Earl asked Chuck what he wanted to charge him with...Chuck said anything I damn well can. So the sheriff said, "boys we got you for disturbing the peace, reckless driving and trespassing".
One of the boys looked up from his on his stomach prone position at the sheriff and said, "that's crazy, we weren't trespassing, we were just driving". At which point Earl Lee said, "boy, you're trespassing now".
I figured he would get sued by the boy's family...nope. The father called Chuck and thanked him for how he did it...he hoped it might straighten his kid out. The old days.
Benjo75
Treehouser
Bid a tree a few years back. The guy was from up north. Got the job and told him it would be a few weeks before we could start. He also wanted the stump ground out. I didn't have a grinder at the time so I gave him my stump guys number. He asked that if the stump guy could get there before me could he go ahead and grind the stump or did they need to wait. I told him we generally like to take the tree down first. He said ok with a straight face and went inside. I don't think he ever really understood why though.
PCTREE
Treehouser
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #65
I worked with a guy up around DC called Jimmy. Jimmy was an big boy, probably 6’6” I’d say and pretty muscular. Oh the Jimmy stories, how that cat was still alive is beyond me.
jimmy broke up with his wife as he was a beer swilling, bar brawling womanizer. Chicks get tired of that I think. Anyways ole Jim is on a bender and finds himself alone at closing time so decides to call his ex. So he dials the wrong number and some dude answers. Jimmy gets pretty pissed and tells the dude he is going to whip his ass. Jumps in his car and flys over to the ex’s new apartment. Sprints up 2 flights of stairs and starts pounding on the door, cussing and making a ruckus. He finally kicks the door down only to find a family of small terrified Vietnamese terrified behind their couch. His wife lived on the 3rd floor. At this point the cops are rolling up so he starts running down the stairs only to be greeted with 5 cops coming up. With absolute Jimmy determination he swan dove on top off them and put 2 in the hospital.
he did some serious time for that booty call
jimmy broke up with his wife as he was a beer swilling, bar brawling womanizer. Chicks get tired of that I think. Anyways ole Jim is on a bender and finds himself alone at closing time so decides to call his ex. So he dials the wrong number and some dude answers. Jimmy gets pretty pissed and tells the dude he is going to whip his ass. Jumps in his car and flys over to the ex’s new apartment. Sprints up 2 flights of stairs and starts pounding on the door, cussing and making a ruckus. He finally kicks the door down only to find a family of small terrified Vietnamese terrified behind their couch. His wife lived on the 3rd floor. At this point the cops are rolling up so he starts running down the stairs only to be greeted with 5 cops coming up. With absolute Jimmy determination he swan dove on top off them and put 2 in the hospital.
he did some serious time for that booty call
Way back when I first started surveying we had a new guy come on the crew. First day. We went to McDonalds for lunch, and he walked in one door, left out the other, and was never seen again. Didn't come to get his 4 hour check or anything :^D
biggun
Monkey for Hire
We did a 5 day job back a few years ago, along side a canal in Sandwich, Kent. Beautiful tow path but more dog shit than you can imagine.
We had to prune 27 Lime trees along the path and were forever coming across new dog eggs. We put a shovel of chip over each one. It was like a mine field for the ground staff.
One morning, Ross and myself were up this tree and we heard his brother Luke shouting to a guy and running up to him. His dog was taking a shit but finished before Luke could get to him. The guy said his dog was squatting as it had Arthritis in the back legs and was only taking a piss anyway.
Luke said Ok and the guy walked off, for whatever reason Luke continued the walk to the area the dog squatted and sure enough there was a big pile of steaming... Then there was a bit of a commotion and the next thing we saw was Luke running after this bloke who was trying to get away but not doing a very good job of it (his old mutt had Arthritis). Luke was screaming expletives at the guy and saying the bloke had forgotten something... whilst sprinting after him with a huge pile of shit on the shovel. He launched it at the bloke and just missed, we just looked on laughing and Ross turns to me and says, "Luke must be having a bad day..."
We had to prune 27 Lime trees along the path and were forever coming across new dog eggs. We put a shovel of chip over each one. It was like a mine field for the ground staff.
One morning, Ross and myself were up this tree and we heard his brother Luke shouting to a guy and running up to him. His dog was taking a shit but finished before Luke could get to him. The guy said his dog was squatting as it had Arthritis in the back legs and was only taking a piss anyway.
Luke said Ok and the guy walked off, for whatever reason Luke continued the walk to the area the dog squatted and sure enough there was a big pile of steaming... Then there was a bit of a commotion and the next thing we saw was Luke running after this bloke who was trying to get away but not doing a very good job of it (his old mutt had Arthritis). Luke was screaming expletives at the guy and saying the bloke had forgotten something... whilst sprinting after him with a huge pile of shit on the shovel. He launched it at the bloke and just missed, we just looked on laughing and Ross turns to me and says, "Luke must be having a bad day..."
Nutball
TreeHouser
Cool, another little fee for the contract:
...$20 every time the saw hits a piece of metal hidden in the tree, $10 per dog turd removed,...
I am always pissed when i hit something, but that's usually not the homeowners fault. But dog poop is inexcusable. I've seriously told people I'll charge 100 bucks more if i gotta waste my time picking it up, and low and behold it's usually all gone. A stray one here and there is acceptable and easy to just hit, but I'm not gonna fill up bags because they are shitty owners, no pun intended
pigwot
M's, Juniper's, Lowen’s, and Inge’s Grandpa
I told the story here before - dead elm takedown I bid $900, and $1800 if the yard wasn’t cleared of dog piles. He didn’t pick up anything and paid $1800 and I gave the ground crew a huge bonus for the day.
Benjo75
Treehouser
That's some expensive fertilizer.
murphy4trees
TreeHouser
I was removing this mostly dead maple from the bucket and noticed a white-faced hornet's nest on the lowest limb.... Knowing that they will only sting to protect the nest, I thought if I can get this thing on the ground in one quick cut, then it won't be my problem anymore and I can finish the tree... which is going to save a lot of time over going out for some bee spray. The nest was about 20 feet out on the limb so I could have cut it at the base, but I was pretty sure they would be on me from the vibration well before I finished the cut. But it looked like there was only one little maple shoot coming off the main limb holding the nest up. So I snuck up there real quiet like and with one quick draw of the silky severed the limb which dropped like a stone... EXCEPT... the only little issue was that when the branch dropped the nest didn't move. Turns out there was another little shoot that came out from the bottom of the limb and hooked around behind the limb and up through the nest. It was in my blind spot.
SO there I was, 2 feet away from a big hornet's nest and those hornets were mad. They swarmed me. I got stung repeatedly and started screaming like a little girl in some high-pitched voice that I had never before heard come out of my body, as I swatted at them with the handsaw (still have the marks on my forearm). Eventually, I ducked down into the bucket and got one hand on the levers to move away. When I had a chance to look down at the ground guys, they were laughing so hard one of them was literally rolling on the ground. I was lucky to get away so light with only 9 stings and the guys had such a good time I was happy to take one for the team there. Brightened up the day.
SO there I was, 2 feet away from a big hornet's nest and those hornets were mad. They swarmed me. I got stung repeatedly and started screaming like a little girl in some high-pitched voice that I had never before heard come out of my body, as I swatted at them with the handsaw (still have the marks on my forearm). Eventually, I ducked down into the bucket and got one hand on the levers to move away. When I had a chance to look down at the ground guys, they were laughing so hard one of them was literally rolling on the ground. I was lucky to get away so light with only 9 stings and the guys had such a good time I was happy to take one for the team there. Brightened up the day.
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