The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

Ooops! I thought this was that other thread.

No worries.
 

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Could you put that last picture in the LOL religion thread, Butch.
It is such a nice statement:)
 
I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while, my wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything, she throws open the window and yells, "'You need a little bit of tail!'

I turned and yelled back, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'
 
:drink:
 

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Employee : Sir, you called me?
Boss : Yeah, I need you to go to the rest room and masturbate.
Employee : (After a few minutes) Done, sir. Anything else that you'd like me to do?
Boss : Do it again.
Employee : (after a few minutes) Done again, sir. Anything else?
Boss : Do it once more.
Employee : I'm really sorry sir, but I don't have any stamina left now. I can't do it anymore.
Boss : Very good, here are my car keys, drop my daughter home.
 
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8iwfUncI74A" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 
On that note, this GIF cracked me UP!

ay63tt8.gif
 
So True!

I met a local farmer in the hospital. "Well, as I see it, most politicians are 'Post Tortoises'."
"What", I asked, "is a Post Tortoise?"
The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that's a post tortoise."
I asked him to explain.
"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of idiot put him up there to begin with."
 
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