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Rborist1
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The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread
- Thread starter Thor's Hammer
- Start date
- Replies 13K
- Views 618K
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
For Erik.......
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M
Mr. Sir
Guest
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell,
invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner.
On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and
sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen
were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry
since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused
and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees,
turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office,
where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million,
but they wanted the recognition by having a label,
'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of
each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic,
and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on
two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours,
and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names
would be shown.
And so to this day, all FORD air conditioners
show LO, NORM, HI, and MAX on the controls.
So, now you know... "The Rest of The Story."
invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner.
On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and
sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen
were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry
since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused
and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees,
turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office,
where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million,
but they wanted the recognition by having a label,
'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of
each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic,
and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on
two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours,
and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names
would be shown.
And so to this day, all FORD air conditioners
show LO, NORM, HI, and MAX on the controls.
So, now you know... "The Rest of The Story."
sotc
Dormant hero!!
N
NeTree
Guest
I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government
Underwent a peaceful transition of power two years ago..
At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while
Barack Obama took his Oath of office.
However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines,
In full dress uniform with rifles,
fire a 21-gun salute to the President.
It was then that I realized how far America's military had deteriorated.
Every one of them missed the bastard.
Underwent a peaceful transition of power two years ago..
At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while
Barack Obama took his Oath of office.
However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines,
In full dress uniform with rifles,
fire a 21-gun salute to the President.
It was then that I realized how far America's military had deteriorated.
Every one of them missed the bastard.
vl2007
Treehouser
N
NeTree
Guest
How can you tell when an OWS protester has a new girlfriend?
A COUPLE OF HIS FINGERS ARE CLEAN.
A COUPLE OF HIS FINGERS ARE CLEAN.
canadiantreeman
TreeHouser
Gross!
Thor's Hammer
Wolfish. Sometimes Bites.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #1,859
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
”How old is this rock, pinhead?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”
”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
”How old is this rock, pinhead?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”
”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders
sotc
Dormant hero!!
Why did the salmon cross the road?
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rfwoodvt
TreeHouser
I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.
Well, I have done something about it: a couple of nights ago I was out for dinner and ended up having a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice wine; but knowing full well I may have been over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.
I arrived back safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never even driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.
Well, I have done something about it: a couple of nights ago I was out for dinner and ended up having a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice wine; but knowing full well I may have been over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.
I arrived back safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never even driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
SoonerFan
TreeHouser
Buses are cool.
rfwoodvt
TreeHouser
I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.
Well, I have done something about it: a couple of nights ago I was out for dinner and ended up having a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice wine; but knowing full well I may have been over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.
I arrived back safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never even driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.
Well, I have done something about it: a couple of nights ago I was out for dinner and ended up having a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice wine; but knowing full well I may have been over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.
I arrived back safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never even driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.
SkwerI
Treehouser
Dang, Rick! That's two nights in a row, you might want to lay off the bottle for a while.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
No chit
SkwerI
Treehouser
Saw this on another forum:
vl2007
Treehouser
N
NeTree
Guest
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
Tree Reb
TreeHouser
A study conducted by Sydney University's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a cricket bat up his a*se while he is on fire.
However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a cricket bat up his a*se while he is on fire.
Tree Reb
TreeHouser
Denmark v Massachusetts. 
N
NeTree
Guest
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