The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

[MasterBlaster]

Damn straight!

 

[Fiddler]

First off, I am or will be okay. I had a terrible accident yesterday, but I am doing better now. I decided to go horseback riding, which I haven't done in quite a while. Well, I got on the horse and started out slow, but then we went a little faster. And then we were going as fast as the horse could go. All of a sudden, I fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup and the horse was dragging me around in a circle. It wouldn't stop. It just kept going around and around.
Thank goodness the store manager at Playworld came out and unplugged the carousel

 

[MasterBlaster]

Holy shit!

 

[stig]

 

[MasterBlaster]

The humor of that escapes me. Death or serious injury could have occurred.

 

[stig]

The Joke is in the last line.

 

[MasterBlaster]

And also, it's in the joke thread, so I guess your LOL was in good taste.

Forgive me.

 

[wcmccon]

The Sensitive Man


A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment

She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of teddy bears. She was quite impressed by his sensitive side,but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and after awhile, she finds herself thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future Father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds! He romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom, where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, They are lying there together in the Afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:

"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf!"

 

[MasterBlaster]

Hahahahahahahahaaaa!!!

 

[CurSedVoyce]

 

[SouthSoundTree-]

hahahahaha

 

[MasterBlaster]

http://imgur.com/gallery/fODv9

 

[bstewert]

First off, I am or will be okay. I had a terrible accident yesterday, but I am doing better now. I decided to go horseback riding, which I haven't done in quite a while. Well, I got on the horse and started out slow, but then we went a little faster. And then we were going as fast as the horse could go. All of a sudden, I fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup and the horse was dragging me around in a circle. It wouldn't stop. It just kept going around and around.
Thank goodness the store manager at Playworld came out and unplugged the carousel

Good one!! Had me going for a minute.

 

[MasterBlaster]

I missed it completely, derp!

 

[SouthSoundTree-]

What do you call a bicycle laying in the ditch next the road with a big uphill climb?

Two Tired.

 

[MasterBlaster]

 

[Fiddler]

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ...."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?" Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...."
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.

 

[MasterBlaster]

 

[wcmccon]

Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address and, without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a Baptist minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

"To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: March 31, 2016

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is hot down here!"

 

[MasterBlaster]

The funniest part was the "called home to glory!"

LOL!

 

[MasterBlaster]

'

 

[MasterBlaster]

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/cycKvOwKJZw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[Steve Mack]

 

[CurSedVoyce]

 

[stig]

Better than the last banner flying there, I guess!