The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

Foul Language Warning!

:lol:

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<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/o-1ehDZv6JQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 
There were protesters at the grocery store handing out pamphlets on the evils of America .
I politely declined to take one.

There was an elderly woman was behind me and a young (20-ish) female
protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protester put her
hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice the young lady said, "Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq ?"

The old woman looked up at her and said:
"Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea , and a son in Vietnam .
All three died so a bitch like you could have the right to stand here and badmouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it."


~ God Bless America ~ I love getting old..
 
INTERESTING OBSERVATION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

And....

6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles.
 
Bear walks into a bar...
Bartender: what'll it be?
Bear: I'll have umm...............a beer.
Bartender: why the long pause?
Bear: don't know, always had em...
...
 
An Arizona Department of Safety Officer pulled over a pick-up truck owner for a faulty taillight.

When the officer approached the driver, the man behind the wheel handed the officer his driver’s license,

insurance card and a concealed weapon carry permit.

The officer took all the documents, looked them over and said.

"Mr.. Smith, I see you have a CCP. Do you have any weapons with you?"

The driver replied, " Yes sir, I have a 357 handgun in a hip holster,

a .45 in the glove box and a .22 derringer in my boot."

The officer looked at the driver and asked, "Anything else?"

"Yes sir, I have a Mossberg 500 12 gauge and an AR-15 behind the seat."

The officer asked if the man was driving to or from a shooting range

and the man said he wasn't, so the officer bent over and looked into the driver's face

and said "Mr. Smith, you're carrying quite a few guns.

May I ask what you are afraid of?

Mr. Smith locked eyes with the officer and calmly answered,

"Not a friggin' thing!"
 
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;) :thumbup: back atcha Jesse.






SUBJECT: RIPPED OFF ON E-BAY!!!!!

Be careful about buying
Anything on E-Bay.........

RIPPED OFF ON E-BAY

Spent $50 on E-bay for a penis enlarger.
Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.
Instructions said don't use in the sun.
 
A Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machineto finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before ...and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work. A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time. There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion? Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure." The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why? "Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them." The room fell silent..God Bless the enlisted man.
 
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What's the difference between a Scottish wedding and a Scottish funeral?



There's one less person drinking at the funeral.
 
His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.





He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.



Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.





He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.



The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.





Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'



'Why?' asked the pilot.



'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'



The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?'
 
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