The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread
- Thread starter Thor's Hammer
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Burnham
Woods walker
I recall telling you almost word for word the same thing about living in Louisiana...you replied almost word for word what Topper did to you
.'Course, from where I stand you both appear to be foolish beyond measure to choose where you have done, to reside
.It's all good...there are great things about every part of this beautiful land we are so lucky to call home
.
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
I guess you get used to it, for sure.
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
If I go back to Micky Dees, I can go anywhere, and to get my own store I would probably have to, anyway.
Burnham
Woods walker
But that still means leaving your friends, the place you love and have called home for a looong time. I never had a doubt when I left the SE of the country for Oregon, but I was 23 years old then...easier to make the jump, I think.
If you had a choice, where would the new place be, Butch?
If you had a choice, where would the new place be, Butch?
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Cali, Colorado, Washington state, maybe. Nowhere east.
With the internet, it's easier to leave friends than ever.
With the internet, it's easier to leave friends than ever.
Burnham
Woods walker
True dat.
sotc
Dormant hero!!
That is absolutely great, Willie. I clearly live in Oregon
I suppose Paul is going to try and convince us the Dutch bros. chain isn't from Holland either
N
NeTree
Guest
Everybody down south picks on us snow-dwellers, but come August...
Burnham
Woods walker
I'd be less than clever to brag about the summer weather here, since I think it's way too crowded already...so let me repeat, it rains all the effing time .
.
N
NeTree
Guest
Meh. Half the cars in the summer up here have Florida tags, anyways.
Burnham
Woods walker
You go right ahead and keep 'em, Erik. And thanks for doing so .
.
N
NeTree
Guest
I'll send you the bill.
Reminds me of a joke...
What's the difference between a Florida orange and a California orange?
The one that sucks back is from Florida.
(Courtesy of Redd Foxx)
Reminds me of a joke...
What's the difference between a Florida orange and a California orange?
The one that sucks back is from Florida.
(Courtesy of Redd Foxx)
S
Strikermike
Guest
Reminds me of this one: How are a BMW and a Rose different?....
On a BMW,,, the pricks are on the inside.
On a BMW,,, the pricks are on the inside.
N
NeTree
Guest
What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirtbag.
The location of the dirtbag.
sotc
Dormant hero!!
Too hot and dry here in the summer. Winter makes up for it though
Burnham
Woods walker
Down your way, it's true.
Although it sure seems we have more of those hot spells in summer here in NW Oregon these last 5-6 years than before. But there's always enough moisture and things stay green.
Although it sure seems we have more of those hot spells in summer here in NW Oregon these last 5-6 years than before. But there's always enough moisture and things stay green.
sotc
Dormant hero!!
Actually here, the last two years we have had one good, wet thunder storm every month of summer, been very nice as some years it goes from May till mid-late Oct without a drop of rain
Dave Shepard
Square peg, round world.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Hahahahaaa.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
N
NeTree
Guest
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot Dogs, get your dogs here," and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.
"Two dogs, please!," says one.
The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.
Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior is first to open hers.
She begins to blush, and then staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers...
"What part did you get?"
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot Dogs, get your dogs here," and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.
"Two dogs, please!," says one.
The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.
Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior is first to open hers.
She begins to blush, and then staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers...
"What part did you get?"
tophopper
The resident asshole
Reminds me of this one: How are a BMW and a Rose different?....
On a BMW,,, the pricks are on the inside.
Ha. The way I heard that one is.........Whats the difference between a Lexus and a Porcupine?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store
clerks called an ambulance when they saw him collapse to the floor. The
paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency
open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the
Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding
a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was
going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the
irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns
are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
clerks called an ambulance when they saw him collapse to the floor. The
paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency
open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the
Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding
a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was
going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the
irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns
are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
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