The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread
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SkwerI
Treehouser
The best ad I ever read:
NO gold diggers????? Jeesh, dude you were spreading sugar to try and discourage ants...
NO gold diggers????? Jeesh, dude you were spreading sugar to try and discourage ants...
pigwot
M's, Juniper's, Lowen’s, and Inge’s Grandpa
Tom Way, lives in the same town as I do, and teaches Computer architecture at Villanova University. He started that site as a gag years ago... still gets a zillion hits.
SkwerI
Treehouser
A modern romance novel:
He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.
He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.
"Just relax."
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.
Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge.
A man not used to taking `no' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say ...
"Okay, ma'am," said a voice. "All done."
My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. "You can board your flight now."
He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.
He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.
"Just relax."
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.
Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge.
A man not used to taking `no' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say ...
"Okay, ma'am," said a voice. "All done."
My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. "You can board your flight now."
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
I don't think they do that.
N
NeTree
Guest
Sure do; they have to feel around the inside of the waistband all the way round.
N
NeTree
Guest
IF OUR GOVERNMENT REALLY WANTS TO KEEP OUR NATION'S TOP SECRETS CLASSIFIED, THEY SHOULD BE KEPT IN THE SAME PLACE THAT OBAMA'S COLLEGE TRANSCRIPTS
AND REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE ARE KEPT.
AND REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE ARE KEPT.
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Copy pasta! Tasty!
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
Love it!
B
bill22
Guest
A blond was arguing with a shoe salesmen about how expensive his alligator boots were.He said,"if you don't like my prices,why don't you go get a pair yourself,so the blond said she would.She came in 2 weeks later and bought the boots.Puzzled by her not arguing about prices he asked why the change of heart,the blond said "I was out in that swamp for 2 weeks ,shooting alligators,but they were all barefoot.
TheTreeWiseMen
Redneck Limey
Two bears were eating a clown, one of them says to the other, "Does this taste funny"?
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
A man phones work and says “Sorry, can’t come in today, I’m sick.”
The boss says “How sick are you?”
“Well…” the man replies “You be the judge – I’m in bed with my sister.”
The boss says “How sick are you?”
“Well…” the man replies “You be the judge – I’m in bed with my sister.”
SoonerFan
TreeHouser
Thinking of Eric...
His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport
to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'
'Why?' asked the pilot.
'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment. Finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . .. You're NOT my flight instructor?'
"Life is short. Drink the good wine first"
His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport
to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'
'Why?' asked the pilot.
'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment. Finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . .. You're NOT my flight instructor?'
"Life is short. Drink the good wine first"
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
This was kinda cute...
Some one has a sense of humor
1. Go to Google Maps and click on "Get Directions."
2. Enter "USA" as your start point.
3. Enter "Japan" as your destination.
4. Scroll down to the 31st point on your route.
5. When you stop laughing, post this.
(Check out the 46th point, too)
Some one has a sense of humor
1. Go to Google Maps and click on "Get Directions."
2. Enter "USA" as your start point.
3. Enter "Japan" as your destination.
4. Scroll down to the 31st point on your route.
5. When you stop laughing, post this.
(Check out the 46th point, too)
B
bill22
Guest
Good one.
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="560" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/d-WmY9C1_4w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
B
bill22
Guest
Butch that was funny as hell.
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that ~ with one little wave of your hand? Show me!"
So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!
AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY!
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that ~ with one little wave of your hand? Show me!"
So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!
AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY!
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fx7aoEBtPXA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
So a guy is laying next to his recently new girlfriend after some more great sex. For an hour now she has been scratching his balls, loving the attention he hesitates to ask. All of the sudden he cannot take it. So he asks, " why after we have sex do you spend so much time rubbing my balls?" She smiles and says" Because I really miss mine."
MasterBlaster
Administrator Emeritus
Nyet!
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
Did you hear about the guy who was in a bar about as drunk as it's possible
to get.
A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and
take him home.
First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he
lives, but he keeps falling down.
He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real
thud.
After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him
to the door.
His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, "We brought your husband."
The wife asks, "Where's his wheelchair?"
to get.
A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and
take him home.
First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he
lives, but he keeps falling down.
He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real
thud.
After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him
to the door.
His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, "We brought your husband."
The wife asks, "Where's his wheelchair?"
rskybiz
TreeHouser
Paddy's not at work classic
classic
Thor's Hammer
Wolfish. Sometimes Bites.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #1,649
Thor's Hammer
Wolfish. Sometimes Bites.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #1,650
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