The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread

Makes you wonder how some people get their name if it's controversial, or maybe it wasn't until years later when the name found preference among one gender.
 
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Yeah we get it here from time to time too, the freezing rain especially. Ive got plenty of stories, mostly harrowing driving incidences, but one was kinda different and especially memorable. One night i went out with some friends and then later took a cab to hang out with some different friends at a different bar downtown. I was friends with the cab driver from way back when we were kids so we go to pick up some other people close by in an apartment complex, and i saw it immediately, pure black glistening from the lights, obviously caused from no salt because of the rain earlier but now it's just cold enough to start to freeze. He slowed down a ton but once he hit the lot he was doomed, and slowly slid into a parked car.

He hops out to look at the damage and I'm messing with the seatbelt to come help, but he goes heels up flat on his back the moment he gets out. A couple was walking out but once they hit the sidewalk they fall the same way too, all in quick succession. As if it was a movie right then the 3 guys who ordered the cab came rushing down the steps, and they all fly sideways through the air the instant they hit the sidewalk. I waited a few seconds to see everyone get back up unharmed and in a moment of clarity decided to sit this one out. I think the police car did the same thing when it showed up moments later but i can't quite remember because i had developed quite a thirst, and once i made it to the bar i wasn't going anywhere for a long while because downtown wasn't much better at that point. When it's like that it's really best to just stay put, it takes awhile to get everything melted down because that really catches them flat footed.
 
The dangerous part around here is the rural roads. You'll have fairly warm days, so your guard is down, but all day steep banks have been bleeding water in the shade, and it freezes. You'll be driving along on roads in great condition and suddenly you're sideways. Well, that's the way it used to be. not as much anymore.
 
Yea, the lavercakes are the most reasonble thing there. I'd try a bite of someone else's haggis, but I wouldn't get one of my own. It would just get wasted. I don't know what it would take getting me to eat the other two, but I'm not sure starvation is enough motivation :^D
 
The dangerous part around here is the rural roads. You'll have fairly warm days, so your guard is down, but all day steep banks have been bleeding water in the shade, and it freezes. You'll be driving along on roads in great condition and suddenly you're sideways. Well, that's the way it used to be. not as much anymore.
Back when I was young I was staying in an apartment on the top of a hill. Nice sunny morning in the winter. The sun had melted the light overnight snow off. I started jogging down the hill. It all went well till I got to the bottom and a large house had shaded the road. Melted snow had run down and the still cold shaded road was cold enough to freeze. I realized I was not going to be able to stop at the intersecting road and there was a car coming. Timing was going to be very close. I sure did not want to slide under the car. I thought if it came to it I could pitch forward and slide off the trunk. I guess I could have slid and putting my feet up would have worked also. Anyhow I just bumped my knee lightly on the rear bumper. Very close and lesson learned.
 
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Decree of the President of the Russian Federation on the appointment of the 47th President of the United States. In connection with ensuring global strategic stability and security, as well as in connection with the need to prevent global conflict: 1. Appoint Donald John Trump as the 47th president of the United States following the results of the elections on November 5, 2024. 2. Appoint Donald John Trump an official salary in accordance with the staffing table for the head of a foreign state. 3. This decree shall enter into force from the date of its signing.
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