The Joke/Funny Pic/Video Thread
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Treeaddict
Treehouser
Looks like my kids and I everyday when they would ride a bike, scooter, or skateboard. Boy they resisted, actually, sometimes still do.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
This isn't a joke per se, but an attempt at humorously relating a true story.
I got home from work today and right away the wife says, "Something weird happened today." I don't have a clue what it could be but everything I thought was light years from what it was. A college aged salesperson was going door to door selling education study packages or some such thing and the wife invited them in while stating that a sale was improbable. After their spiel the person indicates a desire to use the restroom before they leave to which the wife complies. Following an extended period, the person comes out stating they've plugged the toilet, completely mortified with embarassment.
It's a water saving low flush toilet and they've dropped their bi weekly baseball steak into it resulting in a Level 5 Clogger. I lift the lid and the water is mere inches from the top. I guess similar to someone whose car is stuck in the snow and the only thing they can do is spin the tires this person has just kept flushing and probably praying for deliverance. Normally, I flush once while simultaneously plunging but I'm concerned that I should maybe take my socks off and roll up my pants first. Thankfully, a four hour presoak has softened this meteorite enough for the P.O.S toilet to gracefully choke it down after minimal plunging. Great story eh?
I got home from work today and right away the wife says, "Something weird happened today." I don't have a clue what it could be but everything I thought was light years from what it was. A college aged salesperson was going door to door selling education study packages or some such thing and the wife invited them in while stating that a sale was improbable. After their spiel the person indicates a desire to use the restroom before they leave to which the wife complies. Following an extended period, the person comes out stating they've plugged the toilet, completely mortified with embarassment.
It's a water saving low flush toilet and they've dropped their bi weekly baseball steak into it resulting in a Level 5 Clogger. I lift the lid and the water is mere inches from the top. I guess similar to someone whose car is stuck in the snow and the only thing they can do is spin the tires this person has just kept flushing and probably praying for deliverance. Normally, I flush once while simultaneously plunging but I'm concerned that I should maybe take my socks off and roll up my pants first. Thankfully, a four hour presoak has softened this meteorite enough for the P.O.S toilet to gracefully choke it down after minimal plunging. Great story eh?
Treeaddict
Treehouser
I think clogged toilets are funny anyway as long as it’s not mine or one I have to unclog for work. The telling of the story was absolutely hilarious. Great job.
Treeaddict
Treehouser
So my full time job is service plumbing. My service manager (John) and I hit the Indian buffet and returned to the customers house to finish a job. I’m doing paperwork and John is getting antsy. He asks to use the bathroom. I’m done with the invoice and payment but John is still in the bathroom. It is awkward for the customer and myself as John has been in the bathroom for over 10 minutes. Finally, John pokes his head out of the bathroom door and calls me in there to help. Not only was the toilet clogged but the tank took 5 minutes to fill up as the full valve was shot. John was using one of those 2” tall paper cups and trying to fill the back of the toilet tank using the lavatory faucet🤣. The homeowner was a fairly handy person and came in to see what the problem was. I told him that I was going to get my auger to clear the bowl (free, obviously) and gave him a discounted price to rebuild the tank. He declined and said he’d deal with it 🤷♂️.
This is one of the many reasons I poop in a trash bag nested in a 5gallon bucket in the back of the truck.
This is one of the many reasons I poop in a trash bag nested in a 5gallon bucket in the back of the truck.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
I hate pooping in folks bathrooms. But if you have to..... getting older does not help this situation. 😅
I had a career in plumbing. As did my father before me. I can relate.
I had a career in plumbing. As did my father before me. I can relate.
One side effect of the Leukemia treatment I had, is it fucks up one's digestion, basically makes you poop 10 times a day.
Working in the woods is great for that.
Once when we were trimming hedges in a ghetto, I had to go.
Had to head over a large parking lot to a shopping center, but didn't make it.
Basically shit myself so it ran down my legs.
Nothing for it but to put a plastic bag over the seat and drive home for a shower and a change of clothes.
Being some what in a hurry I went a bit fast.
Got pulled over in the next village by 2 cops, they had clocked me doing 90 in a 30 zone.
" You just lost your license" one told me as I got out of the car.
I asked them to please not stand downwind from me and explained the situation with the chemo and all.
" Oh, poor you" the female cop said, "we won't write you up, but please slow down on the last stretch."
Not a method to avoid a ticket, I'll recommend to anybody.
Working in the woods is great for that.
Once when we were trimming hedges in a ghetto, I had to go.
Had to head over a large parking lot to a shopping center, but didn't make it.
Basically shit myself so it ran down my legs.
Nothing for it but to put a plastic bag over the seat and drive home for a shower and a change of clothes.
Being some what in a hurry I went a bit fast.
Got pulled over in the next village by 2 cops, they had clocked me doing 90 in a 30 zone.
" You just lost your license" one told me as I got out of the car.
I asked them to please not stand downwind from me and explained the situation with the chemo and all.
" Oh, poor you" the female cop said, "we won't write you up, but please slow down on the last stretch."
Not a method to avoid a ticket, I'll recommend to anybody.
I could probably count the times in my life I pooped where I didn't want to on two hands. My body's got my back. I just don't have to poop unless the situation's acceptable. I'm sure there's a time limit on that, but it gets me through single+ days.
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
Well, being a caffeine addict and voracious eater does not help....
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
Maximalist
Treehouser
CurSedVoyce
California Hillbilly
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