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Someone told a story on here about how he was out walking with his mother and there was ice on a little pond. His mother says not to walk on the ice as was it’s too thin, the kid, being a kid walks onto the ice and says “look mum it’s fine” to which she picked up a rock, threw it onto the ice...

Tell you another one. I had commited some misdemeanor or other and was up in front of the headmaster, heading for 6 of the best. The rules at the time stated that he had to phone a parent to check that was allowed. If she says no, I walk out of there. So he phones up and explains to my mum...

My Mum went to a evening where you meet your kids teachers (Mine) Teacher: “I’m afraid Michael has fallen in with some boys who are a bad influence....” My Mum: (in an Irish accent) “Don’t go blaming those other boys, it’s him he’s the bad influence!”