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"If I help you, will you price the job lower ?" "Are the gutters full of leaves ?" (hint hint) "Do you take cash ?"

"Are you guys professionals ?" (said while 2 ton cookie is being lowered between houses & power lines, spoken from the seat of a BMW driving over road cones) "Where can I buy one of those (insert expensive piece of equipment / specialized tool) so I could do this myself ?" "Your fertilizing...

Customers always seem to think their trees would make good lumber ($$$), ey Gary ?!? I've had people ask me how much I think their tree's wood is worth. "Dead or alive ?" is my response. When they persist, I give some astronomical # and tell them to contact a mill.