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You started something, spoke it into existence. I have been ordered to visit a barbershop. I have an appointment at 2:30 Wednesday afternoon. Kathryn has spoken, there is no higher power to appeal to. I lost the battle before it had begun.

I have a deathly allergen to scissors and their related ilk...

Agreed.

Or tie your girth hitch properly, maybe lock it with a half hitch. Or just use the bolin. What the heck is with the needless convolution? i don't understand it.

Nope, I tie the tail off back over the closed ratchet.

I use a big tapered center punch, I'd put up a photo, but I'm hiding from the cold and damp at the moment.

Judicious application of a marlin spike fixes that... By the way, a marlin spike is something more tree folk should keep handy. Not so much on harness, but at least in the truck. Also, if yours doesn't have a lanyard hole or the like, learn the icicle hitch.