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I'll bet you guys have seen this but I can't risk your missing it. This stuff's all I drink now... <iframe width="853" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Fww0OPfyOfg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Question: "Why do redneck murder cases pose such difficulties for the authorities?" Answer: "There's no dental records, and all the DNA's the same."

This kid gets a job stocking produce at the grocery store and in walks an old-timer. "Hey kid. How can I buy half a head of lettuce?" "Uhh... Well sir... The lettuce is over there, but I can't sell ya half... Ya gotta buy the whole head." "Ya know: in MY day the customer was ALWAYS...