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is there a good story about how you met? :D

Ficus microcarpa? Perhaps?

:) Yeah.... Gorilla Glue can only do so much ;)

Just my opinion Fiona. When I run into situations like that with some types of shrubs and trees we have here, most have never been touched or as you say, walloped the tips off of when they get in the way. I the plan I often make with the home owner is a more gradual pruning in steps over time...

The varieties in NZ sound intriguing. You have any pics of what you are working with Fiona?