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My dog came in heat 13 days before her appointment to get spayed. Y'all might think that's funny.......but I'm not laughing.

Wow.......spot on. :)

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat...

LOLZ

A seriously depressed woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to get the nerve up to jump. A passing hobo stops and says, "since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?" The woman said "Hell no...get away from me...you’re a sicko!" The bum turned to leave...

Weight Loss Program A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.. She...

The only cow in a small town in Texas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a super milk cow up in Wisconsin for $2,000.00. They bought the cow from Wisconsin and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and...

I love Tennessee.

Oh My

Fred & ol' Butch Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached...

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.

Three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with. What do they do? - - - - They throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter!

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year. So we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me.. It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia. My prospective...

Ha

A Farmer received the following text from his neighbor: "I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live...

Why People Hate Class Reunions Cathy, Sue and Jane haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar. Cathy arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly...

A guy can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery. The guy asks what the surgery is. The doctor tells him they take the muscles from...

LMFAO Thanks Ed!!!!