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@Fiddler

Vlad the Inhaler. I probably spent way too much time laughing at this, I’m going to bed early.

You had one job.

Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can’t tell me that was just a coincidence, man!

Probably something equally trashy that affects nobody, or something truly horrible that ruins a bunch of lives. Who knows, Gerry, maybe it’ll be something heartwarming that restores our faith in humanity. Stuff like that does happen all the time, every day. It just doesn’t sell newspapers or...

Media says “ Look at this. Watch this rich asshole slap this other rich asshole. This is the news today. Pay no attention to Congress failing to extend universal school lunches. Pay no attention to President Biden proposing an additional 31 billion dollars to the pentagon’s annual budget. Pay no...

Did you hear about the guy who was born with 5 dicks? It wreaked havoc with his sex life, but his underwear fit like a glove.

A DEA officer stopped at a farm and told FirefighterZero, "I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs." Jimbo says "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.", pointing out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal...

Two alter boys are fishing on a dock. One of the boys gets a bite and struggles to reel him in. When he finally gets the best of the fish, he snatches him up and proclaims to the other alter boy "Look at this big sum bitch!" The other alter boy says "You can't say that you're an alter boy" to...

An old religious woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot. Everything is fine until she brings it home. It begins to swear uncontrollably. F this, F that, F you and finally the lady can stand it no more. She grabs the bird, shoves it in the freezer, and slams the door shut. Squawking...

My girlfriend asked me the other day: "Are you even listening to me?" Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's...