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Two days ago, I had a Jomocha milkshake (coffee and chocolate flavor). wish it had caffeine, a shakeful of coffee. decaf does not compute ;)

Were you firewooding it down, individually? Bucking/ blowing saw chips directly onto a tarp can save a lot of chasing saw chips. That is pull a tarp along next to the log as you buck, adjusting every so-many cuts. What is decaffeinated?

I've only used cold-patch once on a driveway, when the tip of the top snagged in another tree, sending the top of the tree butt-first, like a spear. Punched a clean 6" hole.

Spruce is strong, flexible wood. Bet it would lay down soft enough, if the parking lot is reasonably solid. Since its sorta limb-locked, I'd consider a pull rope, rather than wedging. A little thicker hinge might slow it down. 90* Open-face-cut will keep the butt/ lower end wood up off the...